Did you ever wonder if you were the only sane person on this planet and every one
else was just a bit off? I feel that way all the time, but I don't get carried away with it. Well, not usually anyway.
It was a cool mid-October day. I'm standing on the back deck which is on the second level of my raised ranch home dumping coffee grounds into the little compost pail. I thought to have a look around the yard and watch the world go by a moment.
There was a slight breeze from the north west and the sky was a milky gray. The trees not quite halfway through the season change. The wind was moving the leaves lightly on it's way past and every now and again one would cascade softly to the ground. Then it would mindlessly roll around on the grass like a child without a care in the world. Not in all a gloomy central New York day, but close.
Then I turned slightly to my right and looked in to my neighbor's yard. Changes were taking place there too. Everyday the in-ground swimming pool gets a little darker shade of green. Last week I saw a rat doing the dead man's float for real amongst the scattered leaves and other debris that found it's way there. Some how the floating rat just looked ... appropriate, yes that's it, it looks right at home!
If it weren't for the lack of steam rising up it would look like the sound stage for a grade B Horror movie. Actually it does seem to bubble a bit now that I'm taking a closer look.
I hear the neighbor's kitchen door open. The door opens to the back yard and through the portal comes my neighbor Sony. Sony is a white male, 54 year old Life Insurance Salesman with short curly brown hair. He's about 5 ft. 10 in. tall and weighs about 175 lbs. As almost normal as he looks he's one of the oddest people I've every met. He sold me a Life Insurance policy soon after I moved in. It was the last time I saw him work.
When I talk to him I think how much he acts more like a less than honest used car
salesman never revealing any detail of his life, but interested in every aspect of mine.
Now I realize how selfish that sounds, I never ask him questions because I don't care about his life. Thing is, he doesn't care about mine either. On the rare occasion we do speak he doesn't seem to be listening, but driven by some compulsion to gather as much information as possible. It's like a question and answer period rather than a stimulating conversation. I make a point of staying as far away as possible so only the obligatory neighborly wave is practical. Today is the kind of day I would expect Sony to stay cooped up inside. He's making a daytime appearance, I guess I should be impressed. Usually the only time I see or hear him is at 4:30 in the morning when he sits in his car in his driveway and plays the radio full blast. Then when you think he's finally done annoying you and the radio gone silent. He spends another 5 minutes slamming every door of the car and testing the handles. I wonder if what's inside is so important he doesn't want anyone to see it. Why doesn't he just take it inside. No that would be the rational thing to do. Who
does he sell Insurance to in the middle of the night?
Sony has just gone in to his classic hand stand. He walks around the pool on his hands and looks like he was born to walk that way. He hasn't seen me watching him so I don't think he's showing off. It's the only thing close to exercise I think I've ever seen him do. Now he is looking around like he senses someone nearby.
I built a 7 foot high lattice frame around the inside of the deck to give some semblance of privacy and to block the view to Sony's back yard. At ground level he probably still can't see me.
Something weird seems to be happening to Sony's skin. It's turning kind of a greenish orange color. His body looks like it's shriveling and his shirt is starting to slip over his head. His shoes have fallen off and his socks are just kind of hanging in mid air. Sony's dropped down on all "fours" or I suppose that's what you might call them because
they don't look like hands or feet any more.
He's just crawled out of his jeans and now he's slithering, yup slithering, toward the
Sony's skin has gone all kind of scaly looking. I always suspected he was
some kind of snake, but this is a bit much. He's thinner and he's a different color,
but he still looks like a bald Sony.
What is really odd about this is I should be
frightened or scared or something shouldn't I? It's the darnedest thing, I only feel
annoyed. What a jerk this guy is. If he' going to turn into a Monster the least you
could do is be scary about it. Lizards don't scare me, no sir ree. He just looks silly
just like always.
Oh gosh, you know what this means? Sony must be an alien. I
heard a rumor there were some around, someone had actually seen one here in town.
There he goes into that slimy water, Yuck. You know this might explain why Sony never
lets anyone into his house and the rest of the family never did act quite right. I
always thought they were just a dysfunctional bunch.
I should go inside so he
doesn't see me when he gets out. I should go get my camera, no one is ever going to
believe me. On second thought no one's going to believe me even with pictures. It's
starting to get dark so I'd need a flash anyway. I'll just sneak back inside while
Sony's talking his what ever and watch from the kitchen window.
My view is really
blocked this way. I may not see when he gets out. This is new, here comes big mama
Lennelle headed toward the pool.
Lennelle is probably around 50 years old. She's
also probably around 250 pounds. She has the three B's. Big Bust, Big Belly and Big
Butt. She's had five kids that I know of and three are still living at home.
the years I've heard some real screaming matches between them. I couldn't ignore it if
I wanted to. Thing is what they said never made sense. It was English alright, but the
words didn't seem to fit together. It's kind of like daydreaming in the middle of a
while your reading a